The Importance of Community For a Black Immigrant Creative
It’s Black History Month, February is the month of my birthday, and the Aquarius season is a period of rejoicing. The Chinese New Year has just started and I’m ready to dedicate more time than ever to celebrate one of the most important communities that have made me feel at home when home was far away: the Black community, the people of the African Diaspora.
I just came back from Italy, the country I was born in and spent most of my life in, so far. I can’t say it was a smooth, carefree, relaxing kind of trip. It was necessary and nice to see my parents and friends after two years, but there were a lot of things that my mind simply couldn’t wrap onto. It was weird to be back home, with no feelings of nostalgia or attachment. And it was even weirder when I came back to New York and I still wasn’t able to call this place “home”.
This train of thoughts actually started the moment I had some issues with my Visa at Schiphol, the main airport in Amsterdam. My boyfriend got his boarding ticket with no problems, but for me, I had to wait a long time and do different lines to get to the same destination as him. My heart sank when we arrived at my place because as blessed as I was feeling, I also thought that after five years my relationship with bureaucracy and immigration is becoming every day more and more tiring. On top of that, in America I’m considered a Black Latina immigrant in media, so what does my future look like here? The moment I was back in America I got reminded about the things that I can’t do, can’t afford, and all the journeys I have to take in order to obtain one goal, one space, one voice. At the same time, I kept thinking about how slow and old Italy is for people who look and think like me. I felt embarrassed, angry, tired.
I cried lots because for days I wanted to stop everything, all my hard work because it felt irrelevant. Who am I speaking to? Will I ever hit a great number of readers? Am I doing the right thing to serve space to these people? But then a force inside me said to keep going, to keep believing in what I’m building, even though I feel lonely all the time. I know that I can speak to multiple communities because I am the representation of a lot of labels and categories in this country. It’s just extremely hard. But community helps, starting from your friends. For me, the community that has helped me the most in hearing my stories and believing in my projects has been the Black community, followed by the Latinx and feminist ones.
Being part of a thriving community is the key to personal success, whatever kind of success you’re trying to achieve. If you’re smart and lucky enough to have a group of solid friends, you start building a healthy network of opportunities and life experiences that can change your life.
Being a good student and an active creative in the New York scene (since my days at Hofstra, commuting from Long Island for every event you could ever imagine), was and has been an adventure. These trips I would take and meetings made me so happy, but also a lot tired, and many were the times I thought I had to give up. However, I didn’t. I was also lucky to trust my intuition and cultivate the friendships I believed the most in. After five years in the Big Apple, I can say to have a solid identity as a creative, while keeping it up with my academic work (an A student!).
Right now I feel that I have a stronger sense of who I am and who I’m surrounded by. Because of this, I can find a little bit more trust in myself and in what I’m doing, even though I’m aware that not always my friends and family will understand my choices.
The Black community, especially African Americans and Caribbean people, has changed my life. These people made me feel at home while accepting my mixed heritages and interests. They made me curious to explore new worlds, sounds, and tales. It is in this community I found love (twice) and felt comfortable in my skin and shapes. That’s why Black History Month is a great time for me to learn and understand more about this community and my relationship with it.
Some might say that my life here in America is perfect. I’ve got a wonderful and supportive boyfriend, a nice space to live in, a great academic journey ahead of me, beautiful and talented friends around me. This is all because I cultivated my community. Life isn’t easy and there are things you can’t control, especially when you’re not a native. But the people you choose to be around and talk to, are all up to you. Community for me is key to who you are and who you aim to blossom into.
