A Fitness Journey Could Benefit More Media Professionals Too
The stronger the identity of a person is, the less vulnerable they are to external validations. There are different types of alluring opportunities, appraisals, and exposures I would have appreciating earning in my career, but only throughout fitness I was able to feel the most free and rewarded individual in the room. And all of this because of my own body, by learning to listen to it along with my heart.
The media industry presents roller coasters of emotions and feelings that most of the time aren’t worth the worry. As talented and dedicated I show myself to be to the public, I have been quietly suffering these last few years by trying to make my voice heard. At first I thought I wasn’t up to the task, because the role of a journalist is to represent and share narratives through an exceptional and distinct penmanship. Maybe I’m really not good enough, I used to think. Perhaps I haven’t entered in the graces of someone, I’d think. Sometimes I still think so. I don’t have a clique, a posse. My name isn’t really “there.”.
When I write I do it in service of academic research, marginalized communities, and clients who trust my skills and passion. Despite all of that, freelancing as an international grad student in the media shark-tank-like sectors of fashion and beauty almost cost me falling into despair and depression for the number of rejections and the amount of superficiality spread throughout the industry. And that’s how fitness came around in my life. It saved me when I most needed validation for my own presence in this world.
There isn’t a single reason why fitness and my commitment to it started. It was a compound of experiences and necessities that pushed me to embark this path. When I moved to New York from Florence I didn’t miss much from my Italian life, except for swimming. In order to live and get an interdisciplinary well-rounded education experience I had to give up an activity that I used to love very much. Unfortunately, back home I was never encouraged to pursue sports at a higher intensity level. It’s not good to dwell on the past, but I wished my parents had believed in my potential to pursue swimming and my education dreams with the same type of commitment. Because of these feelings, it is only now in my early adulthood, without being under the supervision of my parents, that I am able to dedicate hours of the week into physical activities. No pools on sight so far, but the gym has filled the void and resuscitated hope in believing again in my body’s capabilities and wonders, along with the intellectual muscles in my brain. Fitness is for me a process of reclamation to live life in my own terms, in health.
Years passed by and my interest in swimming faded away. I simply didn’t have any means to look up for a pool nor I had the confidence to pull up to the college’s facilities by my own self at the time, for fear of not understanding the language or getting too involved into the activity and not studying enough. Thanks to fashion and journalism, these feelings of being not enough slowly went away, but it did take more than three years. By the time this first step process of self-discovery concluded, college ended and the COVID-19 pandemic hit.
My fervent enthusiasm to jump into adulthood, by moving from American suburbia to New York City and breaking into the fashion media industry, was suppressed by the number of rejections along with the ghosting and gatekeeping practices I faced since day one, followed by an unexpected lay-off. Together with this feeling of inadequacy my skin started developing severe acne due to poor diet and stress. On top of that I had just started modeling under an agency that didn’t get many bookings and gigs. Writing was the only thing that kept me in fashion during these desperate times, fueled with my innate vocation to represent the underrepresented narratives around me. Later that year I got into grad school and started Fashion On The Beat. I knew in my heart I had to buckle up and apply my skills and devotion to the game in an unconventional way, by setting up the ideal standards and ethical frameworks I was learning from in grad school. This process opened new doors to me, but it made me feel much more alienated, while attracting a fresh wave of media consumers and professionals. Some of them turned into employers, clients, and friends. But still, very much isolated in my action and intentions to build a safer and healthier media environment, while gaining perspectives and listening to lessons from others. Fitness was lurking in this chapter of my life and little did I know that it was a matter of months before I started investing into the cure of my body, through an interdisciplinary and holistic lens.
I couldn’t endure another post-college lay off or rely on an industry connection that would mathematically ghost me at the end of the hiring process. Or worse, I was tired of receiving compliments on a daily basis related to my work and not being eligible to be hired because of my international student status - this happens because recruiters would rather bring on someone who is less qualified but can be retained for more than a year and not invest in the potential an international talent may bring to the table of a company. Tears and cries had been shed way too much and I simply didn’t want to go through this set of emotions, imposter syndrome, and panic attacks. Last year, while reaping the seeds I had been sowing through Fashion On The Beat, I began noticing changes in my body. The acne was slowly disappearing and my body feeling less tired. At the same time, I was finally getting more noticed by fellow journalists and senior media professionals, especially for my academic scholarship and research. But with knowledge comes power. With a degree in Africana and African American Studies comes a sense of ancestral freedom and transparency that made me both less vulnerable and open to accept visible harmful practices and mindsets rooted in the most despicable and unsustainable capitalist models that seat behind the desks of certain media conglomerates and entrepreneurial projects, often led by innovative yet exploitative startups. At a certain point it became essential to accept roles and jobs that could only be in alignment with my scholarship and media ethics. This experience pushed me once again to reevaluate my editorial work, its impact and its progress.
While sometimes I still feel inadquate and a bit sad I wasn’t able to secure a staff writing role or a typical 9-5 editorial position that could expose me to a broader network of media professionals, I feel free in my actions and decisions to take my work and mental health to the next level. Given past circumstances, I developed a unique approach to media and journalism, while staying rooted to my personal missions and taking care of my body. In fact, for a very long time, I have been seeking friends and colleagues who wanted to find alternative methods to elevate media professionals’ wealth. If a very limited number of people can only live a certain lifestyle full of glamorous experiences and detached from the real world, is it possible to experiene a healthy life in abundance of what we have, instead of focusing on what we don’t or won’t reach?
Working out and sticking to a disciplined active routine was at first very lonely. Besides a few close friends and my partner, not many people around me wanted to see the possible benefits of exercising. It was easier for them to bond with me over drinks, brunch, an industry event, or over the phone via text instead of intentional hangouts with a proper walk or workout session. Working in media is one of the most challenging and tiring jobs to do: deadlines are tight, pays are low, and nowadays quantity rules over quantity, making writers question their work. I lost friends drowning themselves in work, prioritizing material needs over spiritual bonds. I’ve heard too many stories of people being connected in the industry mrely by favors and titles, instead of genuine motifs.
As admirable for their work and dedication to the industry are, all of these behaviors are toxic, emphasized by communal individualistic attitude in realizing and leading one’s life. I didn’t want to partake in these behaviors. I recognize the privilege of feeling mentally free, something that education and fitness gave me, while allowing me to experiment fresh perspectives in the midst of capitalist environments. I’m psyched to officially announce my dedication to fitness. After getting my CPT and CNC certificates from NASM, my intention is to cultivate a healthy life and share this knowledge to other media professionals in need of an accessible activity able to enhance their wealth.
Health is wealth, and if we could only nurture our bodies and identities without corruption around us, the world of media would communicate better.
