The Impact of My Trips to The Southwestern USA
In Spring 2020 I wasn’t paying too much attention to the sort of spiritual tickling that would startle my inner psyche. Being stuck in New York and its adjacent suburban areas like Long Island made me realize how much I was longing for certain spaces and scenarios that I had totally forgotten about, like the Mediterranean tones from the South of Tuscany and the tropical landscapes of Rio De Janeiro. The moment I moved to the New York City at 19 I was so excited and euphoric to experience something new that I had suppressed for a long time some of my most favorite places, activities, and times spent back at home, whether that was Italy or Brazil.
Because of the travel ban, for almost two years my family and I weren’t able to see each other. My parents weren’t allowed to visit me in the USA and I wasn’t able to go to neither Italy or Brazil. This fact and its bureaucratic process had a heavy impact on my life and its repercussion were particularly hard on my family, friends, and my personal life. Even though I was lucky to be here in health, blessed to have a healthy romantic life, and focused to enroll in another academic program while working and building my own business, I felt disoriented and very “behind’ compared to my American peers. Somehow, I made it out of that bubble of the self-imposter syndrome (sometimes I still have some relapses, but I’m better at managing these moments). In Spring 2021 I expanded my visions an plans, desires and dreams.
In 2021, I was asked to be a bridesmaid for one of my dearest friends, Jessica. Jessica and I don’t talk every day since our lives are so busy, but anytime we link up it’s always like we just left a conversation three minutes ago and we’re back to effortlessly catch up on what we’ve been doing, feeling, and experiencing. With her and two of her other best friends (Claudia and Betty) we went to Arizona for her bachelorette party. We visited Phoenix, Scottsdale, and Sedona for four full days.
In Arizona I saw for the first time ever the desert, an ecosystem I had always seen in movies and books, but never experienced. I remember the beautiful dark sky at night, the long and soothing car rides, and the vast rocky lands in front of us. Arizona will always have a soft spot in my heart because that was certainly a great time with an amazing comrade of girls to experience all this.
Two months later in May, I went to visit another dear friend of mine in Colorado. Antreise and I met in college and she is one of the few people from my Hofstra time to have remained in my life. I enjoyed my time there. Maybe Denver wouldn’t necessarily be my ideal place to live, simply because I heard that it gets really cold in wintertime and my body can’t physically take too much cold. I was happy and smart to visit her in the spring time and I really enjoyed the tours she gave me. A dive into the green, a different green compared to Arizona, but so calming and peaceful.
Fast forward to Spring 2022. This time I concentrated on just one state: California. At this stage of my life, I affirm that California is my favorite American state, because its diversity in flora and fauna is restoring and very familiar with the spaces I grew up in. I feel like that it is only there, within the USA, where I can feel the scents and physical emotions I would feel equally in Brazil or in Italy.
In March I went to San Francisco with my dear friend Coco, from Italy. This was our first trip together by ourselves beyond New York City. We discovered a vibrant scene in San Francisco, with great people, music, and visuals, and urban aesthetics to take inspiration from. This was not my first trip to California, because I had visited Los Angeles in 2019. However, San Francisco is a very different vibe compared to LA. I liked it very much and felt connected with a lot of new spaces to be in.
This week I was in San Diego. I just came back two days ago. For this trip, I wanted to be alone, because I wanted to recharge and explore a new city. Now that I’m in a relationship with a supportive partner, I feel I can embark on these journeys of self-discovery with which I can keep track of my balance and my own singular experiences without losing the ability to be independent, curious, and smart in moving in unknown spaces as a woman. For me, trips of this kind are very important because they allow me to train myself into being alert and reflective while relying on and strengthening my personal skills.
For a long time, I’ve also been thinking to move out of New York City to California. However, I must experience this state in different ways, in different emotional spaces, and with different means of transportation and housing. This was a time dedicated to being my own self and seeing if this could be a place I could dig in, regardless of being with my partner, friends, or acquaintances. The answer? I’m positive that I can see myself moving to Southern California (preferably in Los Angeles), ideally with the love of my life, while being in touch with my friends based all over the world.
This region of the USA, the Southwestern part, has been restoring a lot of good feelings in my well-being. It made me feel much more connected to my heritage while being exposed to totally different realities I’ve never been surrounded by (Native American culture, Mexican culture, AAPI culture, and Americana imaginary). I am aware of the privilege I got in being able to be adaptable from place to place, fluid in my curiosity and lifestyle. Relocating to a region like this could signify a great change in my career and in my personal life. Unfortunately, I don’t have any definitive answers yet, but one thing I know for sure is this: take that plane, try it out, see, evaluate, and repeat. You’ll never ever know what that place can bring to you, what it can make resurface in your spirit.
